I had to attain full composure to go down to my feet and put all this down which is vehemently touching and may my soul be at peace with it.The ill flow and typos that may follow justify the timorous belief that my fingers are shaking .
It’s astonishing that the souls that carry our deep evil,experiences and tribulations never posses the candidness to pour out .We die with truths ,greatness hides without a slight fear within our deceitful bodies and anger finds it’s comfortable seat in our hearts.
Clandestines rest upon a being and constantly sway opinions plus the decisions of the same. Doubts surround us all the times and it would be to the fault of none to bear. Humanity keeps failing us with new lessons learnt on a quotidian but sometimes ignored.
Am trying to cultivate a fertile moral ground for expressing a feeling I can’t tell. Its a fine blended smoothie of fear,anger, happiness, corwadice,anxiety,many questions that I can’t attain answers for not forgetting betrayal.
Before that, I also need to acknowledge that their exists the blackest truths that I hold and wish not to share with anyone apart from me. They wear me down as I gaze at the evil that dwells in me with prayers that I become a better person some day.I have accepted and owned them that even if they go public,the best I would possibly do is to deny them but remain with a heart stained with guilt.
Fallacies can be made a quotidian food but to even the lie pundits,they will never deceive their hearts.It remains crying with the truth.The living person without anything they know at heart only for themselves and have shared it could be the happiest person . At least for the ones that have an awesome a hundred of all their experiences and clandestines shared must be with the sharpest smiles.
Character is another fabric that I need to worry about.Have you seen yourself without mistakes and going flawless in the eyes of others but never get to doubt but hope for becoming better.I must be wrong to believe the naked and bare empty-headed “Perfect”stance.
I realise that lost in me is the emotional being that chooses and wishes to hear what feels better and sounds non frightening to the ear .Life has space to people like l who myiopically choose the path I take.Handling the truth as it comes goes inches deep to hit my worst fears.
At the end of the day we only take the sour gravy of what life had to offer ,the harrowing regrets that invoke feelings of dragging days back to clean up and fix the shattered. The standards can be known for bad and good therefore waking up to the dream that you may never achieve in life is excruciatingly hard.
We are only humans that have been betrayed by humanity,fear,anger, anxiety and judgements.We can only gauge this small for we are the way we are .
I out grow this with the orison to Allah to grant me two things .Control within mu character and hope.
With these my forlon body and transgresfull mind will sink.